Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Poop and Sexual Assault

One of the very beautiful aspects of living in a culture, in a community, is that absurd things become normal.

For instance, every single day we pee and poop in a little bucket that magically takes our excretions somewhere never to be seen again. To the outsider that is absurd magic. To us, it would be weird if the toilette didn’t exist.

Aspects of culture are hard to see unless you can borrow another perspective and realize that the way we live is not the way things are. It’s the way things are in this really small part of the world, in this really short moment in history. And maybe, just maybe, they don’t have to be this way.

I think this can be a fun aspect of life. But what happens, when a toilette-esque phenomena is deeply and supremely damaging to people in our society? Like sexual assault.

1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually assaulted by the age of 18.

99.5 percent of perpetrators of sexual assault are men.

Therefore, if we ourselves are not victims, there is almost 100% chance that we are close to someone who is a victim. And, more than nine out of ten times, the assaulter is a man.

What does this mean? Why am I talking about it? Well it has dawned on me that sexual assault of women and children by men is NORMAL. Maybe not as normal as taking a poop, but it is disturbingly close.

Picture this, we live in a society where no one is taken advantage of sexually. Little girls and little boys do not have to worry about the adults in their lives. Woman walk down the streets at night, unafraid, mace-less and alone, wearing whatever the hell they want.

All of a sudden: PANDEMIC! There is an outbreak of male violence, there are suddenly countless rapes a day. It is no longer safe to walk alone through certain neighborhoods, children are being molested daily by their fathers, caregivers and teachers. If you’re a girl between the ages of 14 and 21, you are particularly at risk. Everyone freaks out, the newspapers read “No woman is safe, outbreak of serial rape!”.

The president makes a speech and the troops are moved to do something about the sudden cruel and unsafe conditions for women and children.

The point is: we would do something.

But we do live in this culture. Women do worry constantly about the threat violation. Too many boys and girls are not safe in their homes. But to a degree, female submissiveness and objectification is normal, so we have lost some outraged. Through the normalization of the idea that “woman are victims, men are rapists”, we have become complacent.

So I am asking us to stop looking at these things as normal. When you hear derogatory comment from someone, such as the all-too-popular “that girl just needs to be f&*!@”, question it. When you see an ad that links violence and sex, realize that this advertisement is part of a larger culture that normalizes the sexual commoditization and victimization of women. And hey, if you watch porn, try to steer clear of the kind that inevitably ends with women in degrading used and abused positions of submission.

Even if for a minute we can pretend that sexual assault is not the status quo, and try to look at these instances with fresh eyes, we can begin to change something that deeply and brutally effects (in one way or another) every man and woman in this country.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Hello. I need to talk to you about this...

ZESTRA. Have you guys heard of this? It's a...well, how about I let the creators tell you what it is: (I highlighted all of the important parts).

"Topically applied Zestra is a safe, patented blend of botanical oils and extracts, clinically proven to increase a woman's feelings of desire and arousal. Zestra works effortlessly and within minutes by heightening your sensitivity to touch – for deep, pleasurable sensations, sexual satisfaction and fulfillment."

I'm telling you right now, if it is all-natural and safe--woowee--I'll get some. But really, is it all-natural and safe?

"The botanical ingredients in Zestra include PA-free Borage Seed Oil, Evening Primrose Oil, Angelica Extract, Coleus Forskholii Extract, Theobromine, and the Anti-Oxidants Vitamin C and Vitamin E."

Click here to check it out. I'm a little skeptical about the all-natural bit.

43% of women are supposed to have some kind of sexual dysfunction at some point in their lives, while only 23% of men do and Viagra has been around to help men for what seems like forever (which does NOT help women increase sexual arousal). So, I think it's pretty cool that women are being offered a product for their va-jay-jays.

What chu think?

They do have "free" samples (you have to pay $4.95 for shipping). I think I'm going to do some more research and try the samples and let you know the results :)



Monday, January 4, 2010


Hola all!

It's been quite some time since we have updated our blog, but we're determined to keep posting consistently for 2010!

Happy New Year. I hope it was everything you've ever dreamed of. Truly.

I have so much to tell you and I really just didn't know where to begin, so I just decided to pick the first few things that came to my head:

1. AVATAR: If you have not seen it, you definitely should see it. I mean seriously. I don't want to give anything away, but it's most definitely going to change film forever and to me, that's pretty important--and really really cool! I would add a link in here so that you could watch the trailer, but honestly, if you haven't watched the trailer yet, DON'T before you go. It's one of those dumb ones that gives away most of the movie (which you think would be hard since it's a 3 hour production, yet they still managed to do so).

2. LADY GAGA: Let's talk about her. I know it has nothing to do with this blog, but she really is strange, isn't she? I just watched her new video "Bad Romance"-and I have to say, I am a little freaked out/intrigued. No disrespect. I just want to hear what people think about this video. Click here and watch it. I promise you'll be entertained at the very least. She did give a speech at the National Equality March (Gay rights) back in October which is pretty neato. Here's that speech as well.

Lemme know whatchu think ahhthat!

3. PRECIOUS: Did you see this movie yet? Talk about giving voice to those who don't have one. The lead character (who plays Precious) didn't even act before this gig! Her friends got her to go to an audition and now, well now she knows Oprah and that's some big shit. I know it looks like an intense film, but I felt like it was my duty to see it-out of respect for the message and respect for the reality of the subject matter. Precious is obese, black, a woman, and has been sexually and emotionally abused by her parents and impregnated by her father twice.

Kathryn works for the YWCA as an adult sexual assault counselor and sees these realities every day. Go Oprah for giving voice to the oppressed and for shining light on a very real issue. Check out the trailer here.

Just see it.

Let's just stick with the video theme--have you seen the preview for the documentary called Oh My God? Let me know if you find it playing around here before I do. (P.S. Let this video load or it won't play without skipping).

5. WANDA SYKES: She has a new show. Here's the promo. I hear it's no good. I can't believe that because she is one of the funniest feminists (which is supposed to be non-existent, especially in the world of stand-up)and I really want to see her succeed. Tell me what you know...

Love. Love. Love.